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Hey, this is Leo for actualised.org. And in this video, we're going to talk about why women use you for money. So why do women use you or men for money, a lot of guys get hung up on this, a lot of guys will hold this kind of bitterness against womankind, based off of past relationships that they've been in and past interactions with women, where they feel like women are users of men. That's what I want to cover in this video. And if you're a guy, this video is for you, I want to help you see the other side of what is going on here. Because actually, I'm giving away the punchline here. Actually, the reason that women are using you for money is because it's your fault, and you're letting them. And it's because you don't understand what really attracts women in the first place. And you're looking for a shortcut to attract a woman. So let's really get into the details of this. Because I spent the last few years really studying female attraction, really understanding women by talking with them dating a lot, being in relationships, really studying this area of my life, because I was in a very bad place, I sucked with women, and I wanted to get better. So I really took it upon myself to say, You know what, I'm going to start from ground zero and work my way up and learn how it really works, how it really works, not the stuff that they tell me in the media, or in popular culture, or what my intuition tells me about how women work, but actually how they work. And here's some of the things that I've discovered. Because I also ran into this problem, when I started off on my journey is I didn't understand women. So I fell into some of these traps in the same way that you're falling into. And it really sucks as a guy to go out with a girl, take her on dates, buy her stuff, and then get nothing in return, and then have that girl run off with somebody else. That's really like a dagger on your heart, you feel like you've been stabbed. And that's something that then can build up to certain bitterness, which then you can hold against women in general. And the problem with that is that it creates, then the sort of resentment that is there in all your future relationships with women and all your future dating situations. And that's not something that's either healthy for you, or will that produce the kind of results that you actually want? So I want to help you get the results with women that you really want. And the answer here is that once you understand this, that actually attracting women is is a lot easier than you think it is. So let's crack into that. So here's really how it works. The problem that you have here as the guy who was getting used, because not all men are getting used. Equally, you are getting used, the men that really understand women, they're not getting used by women. So why do you get used by women, the reason you get used because you have this flawed model of how Attraction works. You fundamentally misunderstand female attraction, what attracts a female. What attracts a female, in a nutshell, are emotions. She's interested in emotional stimulation. She's also interested in the status and confidence that you have as a man. So she wants you to be confident she wants you to have status, but really, she wants you to emotionally stimulate her. And as long as you've got that, then you really need nothing else. You know, it's funny, because I hear some guys in the comment sections that I read, or other places on forums, they'll talk about how women are just out to use them for money, or that the thing that they need to attract that really beautiful girl is lots of money. And so the reason they can't go out and attract a beautiful girl, a really hot girl, a supermodel quality girl, they can't do that is because they feel like they don't have enough money to attract her. Well, what's really nice is that you don't need any of that. All you need is the emotional stimulation, whatever guy can stimulate the woman in the most in the most stimulating way. That's the guy who's going to end up sleeping with her the fastest other guys in her life, they could serve the provider roles, but she's not really going to be attracted to them. Let's let's look at the scenario how this works. So a typical guy who doesn't really understand women too well, here's how he thinks it's going to work. So he sees a cute girl. Maybe he thinks that oh, she's She's really nice. She's really fine. She's a little bit out of my league. Maybe she's a little bit of a above me. So he puts hold it on a pedestal. And then he says, You know what? I'm gonna go and I'm going to be like the really, really great guy in her life. I'm gonna take her on some nice dates. I'm going to take her to a really nice fancy restaurant, impress her with that, you know, and then after that, we'll go and we'll do some shopping or buy or some some stuff, some clothes, a person earrings or whatever, I'll buy or whatever she wants. And then after that we'll go and we'll go to the, to the amusement park rides, and I'll borrow some popcorn and we'll go to the movies. So I'll be buying all this stuff, we're gonna go through this courting process. And then as that's happening, she's gonna get attracted to me, she's gonna see that on this on this cool, responsible guy who's got status, who's got money, and she's gonna fall in love with me. She's gonna like this stuff that I'm doing for her. And that if I don't do this, for if I don't pay for checks in her dinners, that in fact, that's gonna be, that's gonna be perceived as negative, and it's gonna be perceived as me losing attraction. Now, of course, the woman, let's look at this from the woman's perspective. Here you are the sky, and you're lavishing her with all these gifts. You're lavishing her with all these favors? You're doing stuff for her? You're buying her dinners? Okay, what is she gonna think she's gonna say, okay, cool. And she's gonna take it right? What would you do if I was a rich friend of yours? And I said, Hey, you know, let's go over the weekend, I'm gonna buy your dinner, or devise a lobster. And then we're gonna go and go to a party, and we're gonna do all this cool stuff, I'll pay for it all don't worry about it. What are you gonna say as the guy of course party on right? I mean, who would refuse free money? See, this is where guys make the critical mistake, they assume that because a woman will accept free money. I mean, she's only human, you will do the same is that because of that, you think that she will fall in love with you. But really, there's no connection there whatsoever. And if anything, there's an inverse correlation. Because as you're paying for her stuff, what's happening is that she's seeing that you're supplicating. To her, she's seeing that she's the prize in this relationship. And women hate that. Women really hate that, because women are very sensitive to status, they want a guy who's more confident than she is, they want to date a guy who has more status than, than she does. And she's suddenly evaluating these things, whether consciously or mostly subconsciously. And so when you're buying a supplicating, then you're actually shooting yourself in the foot, and you're putting yourself in the provider frame. That's not what you want. So you think that you're gonna give her all this money, and all these, all these favors that you're doing for her and gonna be really nice. She's gonna like you. But what ends up happening is that as you're doing all those things, and you're doing this long, drawn out courtship process, some other guy in her life, who's just the fun, carefree party guy, he comes along, he is broke, he has no money, he doesn't buy her anything, he treats her a little bit like a dick. And she ends up sleeping with him. Now, why does this happen? I'll get into that in a second. But it pisses you off, right? As that guy who's been doing all this stuff, and really, working really hard to attract her. This like, is a dagger in your heart, because you went through all this work. And now you're standing there left, standing there with holding or digging your hands while she's off screwing on the guy. Why is this happening? It's happening, because you assumed the money would attract her. That doesn't work. Women aren't attracted by money. What attracts them as emotions. So see, guys will call women horse when they see this happening. Actually, no, she's not a whore. She would be a hoard if she slept with you, because you bought her all those things. And if you interact with a lot of women, what you'll tend to find is that they're not very harsh. They love sex. And a lot of them are sluggy, which means that they're very, they're very likely to go to sleep with you very quickly. If you stimulate the right emotions. That's all she is. She's, she's a whore to emotions, she's not a whore to money. Now, look at what's happening. In fact, what you're trying to do as a guy, when you're giving her money in favors, is you're actually trying to make her a whore. And women don't actually like this, and they don't respond to it. Now, you might say, well, Leo, but you know, sometimes you see guys are really wealthy, who don't have good looks, and there was cute girls that are out of their league. How is that happening? Either those guys are stimulating that woman emotionally even more so than the money factor. But also, I'm not going to deny that sometimes a woman will fall into the trap. Right? A woman will take free money, she will take gifts, and she'll even sleep with you for it. Sometimes. The problem though, is that when you attract a woman based on money, then that's what the relationship is based on. And she's never actually going to be as wet for you, as she would be. If you treated her with the emotional component first, rather than the money. If you treat her with money, she might sleep with you. She might even be your girlfriend a little bit. But ultimately, she's still going to be always on the lookout for the guy who's more emotionally stimulating than you are. And as soon as her radar locks on to that guy, she's gonna leave you because you attracted her with this false thing that she didn't really want. Now, of course, some women are out there and then we'll just use do for money. So some women are really, that's like their name. Obviously, you have to watch out for that too. But you can nip all that in the bud by simply refusing to pay for women's simply refusing to supplicate to them and understanding this model, they really don't want you to be paying for them. They don't want to be hoarse, they want to be mostly stimulated, they want to be swept off their feet by that knight in shining armor, or the bad boy, or whatever kind of, you know, stereotype you want to, you want to cast yourself as she wants that exciting, stimulating, adventurous, edgy man who's very masculine, who's very sexual, who's very dominant, you're aggressive, that's what you want. And you're not giving that to her with money. And here's, here's the problem is that mainstream media and culture and society are telling you the exact opposite of all this. If you look around in the media, you see examples of the opposite. Also, your, your naive and kind of intuitive brain. If you're just starting out with women, you don't really understand them too much to telling you. Well, she would she would enjoy me doing something nice for her, you know, what if I do a favor first, would not skew things in my favor. Actually, that's not what happened is very counterintuitive. This is a process that men have to go through. When they're learning to become very, very good with women, they have to go through this process of getting out of this mindset, where they're this provider and getting to this mindset where there's this fun, carefree emotionally stimulating guy, when you make that transition. Wow, the success and the results you get with women, totally, totally changed. Because this is a very counterintuitive thing. For a lot of logical, analytical guys. This doesn't make sense why women work this way. But they just do and it's not that complicated. See, the problem is that you're trying to use money, actually a shortcut. Wouldn't it be nice if you could just go out and hand a woman $1,000. And she would just sleep with you. If you could just like see a really cute girl on the street, you're like, oh, man, I really love her, I got I've got some extra money in the bank, let me just go and like, pull out my ATM card or the ATM machine. And then like, take out a wad of cash and just like go and give it to her, and she'll sleep with me. Unless she's like a proper whore, she will do that no woman will do that. And even if she does, she's not actually going to be attracted by that. She's just going to do it for the money. And see the reason that you as the man want that. I mean, it would be nice, wouldn't it be nice to go and pay $1,000 That would be actually very cheap. The expense that a man encouraged to actually attract really quality women is a lot more than $1,000 per woman, the blood and sweat and tears and labor that you put into building up your game, to becoming more confident to building up your personality, to becoming more masculine, to becoming more carefree and fun, letting go of your emotional baggage, all that nonsense that you had all that negative thinking that you had from childhood, to let go of all that and be that fun, carefree guy that she wants. That's That's hard work. That's hard work. For me. I spent the last two years really working very hard on that. I literally put my my business on halt to do it. Right. So if I calculate how much time I really put into becoming really much better with women, I'm not that good with women now, but I'm much better than I used to be. And the difference that that happened, there was me investing literally hundreds, and probably over 1000 hours practicing and studying this to understand Understand it. Don't I wish that I could just paid some woman $1,000 to like be my girlfriend. It doesn't work. But see, the reason that you want it is because you want the easy way out. You want a shortcut? Guys want a shortcut. That's why you're buying girls dinners in the first place. That's why you're taking them to fancy restaurants or you're going shopping with them is because you want to impress the girl, and you want the shortcut. You don't want to try it with your personality, that would be difficult, you know that your personality sucks. Because if you've got a good personality, you know that you don't need money to attract women. Women are magnetically attracted to you, you've probably got more options with women than you care to capitalize on. But if you've got a weak personality, if you're strong introvert, you're pretty much in your head, you're very logical. You come from that kind of traditional thinking about how dating is supposed to work, which is completely flawed, then, then you've probably got a pretty bland personality. It's hard to attract women with that kind of personality. It's very interesting because I want to share an example with you of of how I learned this. When I started going out and I started approaching lots of lots of women, literally 1000s of women. One of the first girls that I then ended up putting up with she was a girl in a new town. I moved to that town just for the month just to be practicing hitting on girls, and I was there for that month just practicing every single day for 30 days straight and I bumped into this girl at the mall, and I opened her up as like a five minute conversation. I grabbed her number she she's really happy that I They stopped her dead cold in the middle of the mall. She was walking and talking to her mom on cell phone. So I stopped dead cold. Just tell her she's beautiful. And I want to, you know, I want to grab her number and go out with her. And she's like, totally down. So like it hooks. And then later, we ended up going for coffee in the evening, a few days later, and we ended up hooking up that night. And it was amazing, because this girl, she was very beautiful woman. Very beautiful. I would say she's like, a nine, eight and a half or nine on one to 10 scale, just like a very beautiful woman, the kind of woman that would be like girlfriend material. Not only she's like very feminine, very fit, like, what's her health, beautiful face, beautiful body like beautiful everything. She was also intelligent. She's also smart, she had a good, good career, she was a nurse. So she had, she was like, nice package. And she was a kind of woman that was looking for that boyfriend who would then become the husband. So she was she was really looking for that nice long term relationship. And it was very funny, because when I hooked up with her, those few weeks in that new city, it was funny to me, because she just moved to that city. She escaped a turbulent relationship with really dysfunctional abusive relationships. She got out of that she moved to this new town. And now I was interacting with her. But already she had other other suitors, right, because she's got status, because she's, she's beautiful. So other guys that know her want to date with date her and you know, be with her sleep with her. But see, the problem is that those guys, they were trying to attract her with the money. And it was really funny, because even she didn't understand what was going on. Until I kind of pointed it out to her. I remember one time we were sitting and we're driving the car. And she was telling me about her her nursing career and how how people were very nice to her as a nurse. And she was telling me about how some of the doctors and surgeons that she worked with in the hospital, how they would be very nice to her. And in fact, one of the surgeons, he offered her a free surgery. Free surgery. Now why would he do that? What does free surgery cost? I don't know, depending on the operation, but surgery is fairly expensive. Surgery usually cost between 10 to 20 to $30,000. It's for a minor surgery, major surgeries. Go beyond that. So a minor surgery, let's say it costs even $10,000 Why would a surgeon offer her a free surgery? And it was funny because I instantly I'm like, Whoa, like, that's amazing. And she said that in the car. And she's just she's just talking, she's not really thinking about what she's saying. And then I'm like, I'm gonna kind of like put my hand on her on her knee. And I kind of look at her with a slight smile and say, I wonder what you have to do what you had to do to get that. And she looked at me. And she went like this. She's like, she opened her mouth really why she's a call because like it clicked in her brain that what was going on here was that like, she was looking very, very whorish here. And she immediately said, no, no, no, no, we didn't do anything. We didn't do anything. And I'm like, Yeah, of course. Okay, you didn't do anything, I believe you. But think about the guy in that situation. The guy in that situation, that surgeon, he gave her surgery because he wanted to in, right. He wanted to sleep with her he wanted an in. And he noticed that she was was kind of maybe a little bit warm to him. But he wanted to really like get in there. Right? So he was supplicating. That's why he offered it. And when she understood that it was funny, because to me is very interesting, because even she didn't quite realize and put the two together until we started talking about it was very funny. And of course, the surgeon didn't end up getting her I ended up getting her. And it was funny because a few days later, after we had sex, like the whole day, we I drive her back to her house. It's a new house. And she didn't have very many friends in the city yet. But she does have like an aunt and an uncle. And they know a guy who they want her to date already. And so we're driving back to her house. And she before we even before we even like get up to the driveway, she immediately like tells me to stop the car. Okay, look, I gotta tell you something. We're getting to my house. But in my house, my aunt and my uncle are there now. And there were there with a guy. They want me to, like get hooked up with that guy. And I'm sitting here. We've been like having sex all week. I'm sitting here I'm like, okay, so this guy like he's also like a suitor. This has been the next student that she has. I noticed it was hilarious. Because because she doesn't want to get with that guy. Right? Of course. Why? Why would she want to get with that guy? That guy is not emotionally stimulating her. I'm emotionally stimulating her in this situation. That guy, he's just trying to get an in. She doesn't want that she wants to be stimulated. And so it was funny because we were sitting there in the car and she's like, should I go in I don't really want to go in and all this stuff. And I'll tell you how to go in. You know go in and maybe maybe you really like that guy and you can suck his dick. Right tonight. Right? Go suck his dick tonight. He's gonna be an amazing match for you. See, as soon as she heard that, like that guy was immediately blown out. Right like no chance of getting with her. ever again. Why is that? Because now she's associating what's going on there, right? With the sex, the guy is there just for sex. And like he wants that in. It was funny. I mean, I said that very deliberately, just to show that I'm like carefree, I honestly wouldn't care if he did go in there and suck his dick, it wouldn't matter to me. But see, when I played that role to her, that's super attractive, that makes me look like really confident in myself, like, I don't care, go do whatever you want. Honestly, I don't, it won't upset me. But I know that when I tell that to a woman, that she's never gonna go do anything with somebody else, she's going to be with me. She told me to drive her to my place five minutes later, and we ended up having sex all night. So it was it was very funny. And this is not the end of it. After that, I still I known her, I knew her for about a few more weeks after I thought I was in that town, you know, we were still there, we're still hanging out a little bit. And what was happening is that she had a third suitor. This was a guy who put her through nursing school. And he didn't, he pulled a lot of strings for her in her youth, to get her educated and to get her like, really, from what I understand, I don't know, the details to get her really situated in her nursing career. And in hospitals, because hospitals have a lot of politics involved, keep a lot of strings for her. And this guy, he wanted to marry her. So now she's hanging out with me, she's coming, she's coming home to me. And she's telling me how distraught she is because this guy who used to support her and help her in different ways, who never had sex with her. But he was doing all that because he wanted to marry her, then now she feels like she's obligated to the sky. But she doesn't really like the guy. She's just not attracted to him. But now because she took his money, and because she did all these things. You know, he did all these things for her, and he opened all these doors, she now feels obligated. So see, in that situation, that man, she put her into the role of the whore. And now she feels really bad about that. So will that guy ever marry her? Probably not. Because she she's not really attracted to him, she just feels obligated. Now you want to hear this whole story? And you might say, Well, what a like, what a cunt, why would she do all this stuff, and you got to understand that she's only human. If I was giving out free money, and pulling strings for you, would you refuse it, you would accept it too. And see women, they don't really see how calculating men are. Men are very calculating behind the scenes, they're doing all this stuff, women, sometimes, if she's a experienced woman, she'll understand what's going on. Sometimes they don't even understand. They're just running kind of off emotions. And that's what they're going after. And they'll kind of sweep up whatever favours money you throw them, but they're not gonna get attracted to you. So the moral of the story here is, don't be like those guys that didn't get with the girl, be like the guy that did get with the girl by stimulating her emotionally and not paying for anything, not providing anything, that doesn't mean that you never pay a woman for anything. That's not what I mean, here, don't get extreme, you can be nice and buy her some stuff sometimes. But don't use money as a crutch, as a shortcut to get your way in there and get some action. Or get a girlfriend, get a marriage. That's even worse. It's ridiculous. That never works. So Toby, that guy understand that. If women are using you for money, it's not their fault. Women are actually very sweet creatures. It's your fault, because you are looking for that shortcut. And all that she is doing is she's going along with the flow, you would go along with the flow as well, if you were put in the same situation. So don't hold that against them. Start to understand that emotions are what you're really supposed to attract a woman with. And you need to work on your own personality. That's the lesson here. Stop the money bullshit. Start working on your personalities for doing personal development, look and study, pick up where you want to go to pick up or start studying dating theory for going out there dating many women. And you're gonna start to learn, that's how you learn. That's how I learned that's the best way to learn is just through sheer experience. And also learning from guys who are also very, very good at this stuff and have come before you and learn this stuff. All right, so kind of an in depth topic on a detail here. But I think this is important because a lot of guys get hung up on it. I'm going to be going in and signing off. Go ahead and post your comments down below. I'd love to hear what you think. Please like this, please share it click the like button right now. Share with your friends. I want to get this video to spread around and then come and sign up to my newsletter. 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